Staying Up So Late Everything Is Funny

It was cold. The terrible kind of cold that seized the air in your lungs and crystallized it with every inhalation. Snowflakes gracefully danced out of the inky black sky in front of streetlamps like alabaster ballerinas. It was late. Too late to be outside and certainly too late to be out in such arresting cold. I was on my way to the gas station in search of candy and soft drinks. Like a solitary messenger sent across a scarred battlefield I was elected by my cohorts for this mission and I felt equal parts envious and victimized. As I reached the doors of the convenience store I was greeted by a deluge of warm air. I quickly garnered the requested supplies and proceeded to the till laden with sugar and caffeine in all of its forms. As I deposited my spoils on the counter I looked up to see a rather familiar face. A face which had become synonymous with summer afternoon Slurpee and compulsory movie night snack procurement. To this day I do not know his name and he has yet to obtain mine. To him I was buddy and he was man to me. Despite this he was a fixture of tween escapades and held a special place in my heart. Having paid for my copious food supply I left feeling far less morose about the ludicrous temperatures I had been sent out in. This wave of happiness however was quickly superseded by a torrent of fatigue. I was leveled by the lack of energy and was reminded of the obscenely late hour. I then proceeded to trudge homeward as dancing snowflakes changed to icy daggers propelled by ever increasing winds. Just as I feared losing my way I found myself on my doorstep. With my mission almost complete I released a sigh of relief and began almost jogging towards the door. Just as I surmounted the driveway I found a patch of sheer ice and promptly fell directly onto my back, my bag of junk food flying out of my hand strait into the air. As I fell to the ground I watched as a solitary can of Coca Cola escaped the bag and plummeted just inched from my head onto the frozen pavement. It promptly exploded and sprayed me with a torrent of freezing liquid. At this point I burst out laughing, What were the odds that a single can of Coke would manage to land exactly where it could soak me. My lungs having been evacuated by my fall struggled to regain function amid fits of laughter. I stayed like that laughing on the cold ground until I regained enough function to stand up. I picked up the scattered remnants of my escapade and walked triumphantly through the front door of my home.